Awaken Who I Used to Be
by lostinmyownworldforever
Summary: He made a point never to mention her. She was an angel, burnt by the past. When she turned her back on the Federation, he couldn't help but think she turned her back on him a little, too. He never thought he'd see her again. Dead or alive. Now the only way to save them all might be to crack through her stubborn, McCoy shell. And maybe Kirk is the only one who can. Kirk/OC
1. Chapter 1

**First off, this is my first ever Star Trek fanfiction and I do not remember all too much from the original series. I watched them all when I was younger. However I have seen the new movies and decided to take a crack at writing fanfiction for it.**

Any mistakes are my own, and please forgive me (or spellcheck).

Also I do not own Star trek or any part of it, but I wish I did. Then I'd be filthy rich!

**This is an intro to a new story that I'm going to try out, any feedback would help a lot. I will try to update as soon as possible. Sorry if it seems short.**

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He made a point never to mention her. A very strict point.

She was like a wart on his butt that he always kept hidden. She embarrassed him.

MIT graduate when she was sixteen having done so in a little less than three years.

She was the reason that he was a doctor.

She was the one who opened his eyes to what was happening to his marriage.

And she was the only one who stood with him during the divorce, while his parents chose to go against his wishes.

She never teased him about his fear of space, as she knew it crossed a line.

She helped him whenever he snuck out, those few times that he did.

She never told their parents when she caught him doing something that they wouldn't approve of.

No, in every sense of the word, she was the perfect little sister.

Four years younger.

Enough to give him space when he wanted it, but to understand when he needed her to.

She was a perfect angel, only to be burnt by the past.

She lived in her mind, and in her computer.

Which he understood.

But it drove her to insanity.

Something he would never forgive himself for letting happen around him.

She became thinner, weaker, and just plain different. He feared for her, but never voiced it.

And when he did it was already too late.

She had done what he thought should would never do.

She didn't turn on him, she made a point in saying that, always. She was always on his side.

But when she decided to turn against the Federation, he knew in his heart, that she had turned her back on him a little, too.

He never thought that he would see her again. Not even her dead body.

But six months after Vulcan was destroyed and Nero and the Narada had been taken care of they faced an even bigger problem.

An organization called FTF—Fuck the Federation.

Now forced to face the past, Leonard must chose whether or not to forgive his sister, as she didn't more times than even Spock himself can count.

Or to simply let her go, as he forced everyone around him to feel as though he did with his ex-wife and daughter.

But with Nero still alive and running the new colony alongside Kahn in Klingon territory, with an army to match, or beat, the entire fleet in Star Fleet.

It might be their only chance to save the Federation.

If they can find a way to crack the stubborn McCoy.

And to Bones' dismay, the only way to break through countless years of Hell, it might be the undoing that the one and only Jim Kirk causes the young girl to feel.

All poor Bones can do, is have a little faith, in Faith.


	2. Chapter 2

**First off, I apologize for the length being somewhat short, I will try to work on it! And I would also like to thank Abraxania for taking the time to read and review this. I'm also sorry if it doesn't make full sense (it will later I promise!) and also if it is a little boring or dull, it'll get there I promise!**

**Once again, I do not own Star Trek ;(**

**Also, super sorry for the long wait! I had this written days ago but my computer ways acting up! I hope you like it!**

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Bones was careful as he wrapped the young ensign's wrist, he felt slightly guilty having snapped at him earlier for being, as he put it, a "cry baby".

He had been on edge all day, something that everyone—save Kirk, who understood the feeling of hating the day you were born—couldn't fully understand. He didn't have a reason like Kirk did however, at least, not one he was willing to openly tell anyone.

His birthday and the three weeks that followed were a very sore subject. It was the only time that he ever allowed himself to think of her.

And the three weeks that separated their birthdays.

Both their birthdays were dead set in the middle of summer, so the day of his birthday to her birthday three weeks later were sort of a celebration time for their family. And although he would never, ever admit it; he missed the hot summer days that they would be sitting outside, just the four of them. His mom arguing with his sister about how she couldn't understand her hate for pie, especially a home cooked one. And his dad standing there, telling him how he couldn't believe another year had gone by as he made their annual mid-summer, immediate family picnic special with his ribs.

He missed her brown curls, and how especially during the summer, they couldn't decide if they wanted to be brown or a dark red, both made her pale skin shimmer in the moonlight, nonetheless.

He missed her coming home from school, black eyed, bloody-nosed, or broken lip, or sometimes all of them. Taking care of her while his parents worked was what made him realize he wanted to be a doctor. And she had encouraged him to do so.

However, his bedside manner was different with her. She—much like Kirk—never listened when he told her to sit still, or to stay put. She never really listened to anyone, in a respectful way of course. However she still managed to do that was way beyond him.

He never hit her with a hypospray, mainly because he wasn't certified at that point in his life. But also because he felt as if she didn't deserve it. The only reason that she came home in that condition was because she never fought back. And he hated her for it.

He sighed and turned away from the young ensign, cursing himself slightly for think that a man six months older than his captain and best friend was young.

"Alright, Ensign Roberts," he stated calmly as he could, a scowl coming to his face when he saw the ensign staring at him confused. "Oh, Goddammit! Get out of! Now!"

The young ensign got off the floating bio bed and made a mad dash for the door, just as Kirk was walking in.

"And the three weeks begin." Kirk stated slowly as he walked to his friend, his hand pinching the bridge of his nose. "You okay, buddy?" he asked calmly as he stopped and stood next to him, resting the palm of his hand on the bed.

Kirk knew what these next three weeks meant. Though he had no idea what caused them. He always figured it was something to do with the divorce or his daughter.

"What do you want, Jim?" Bones asked calmly, eyes still squinted shut, not even removing his hand from his face to attempt to look at him. His breathing was shallow, almost like he was about to cry.

"Christine told me that you snapped at Ensign Roberts to stop crying."

"So what if I did?"

"He broke his wrist! You can't expect everyone to be ready to bounce right back into action like Spock and I!"

"Spock and me." Bones corrected, bringing back horribly funny memories of a young girl snapping at him over dinner whenever he made the mistake himself. He only ever corrected anyone during these three weeks.

"Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you, Bones?" Kirk looked at his friend, who was now chuckling to himself slightly. "Did you take something?" he asked, it was his first question he asked whenever he saw Bones during these weeks.

"Sure," Bones said, removing his hand and shaking his hand before opening his eyes to look at him. "And what if I did?"

"Bones..." he said, worried deeply for his friend.

"Look, Jim. I'll be fine, I just need some time alone is all." Bones looked Jim in the eye, he was always so out of character during this time. Too out of character.

Jim nodded, "I'll be on the bridge if you need me." He said almost inaudibly, knowing that Bones already knew where he would be.

He walked backwards, headed for the door as the scowl left his face as well as the light chuckle that had been there mere moments before. Leaving behind a blank expression that Jim simply didn't understand. The door hissed shut as he watched his friend lean of the bio bed in front of him for support.

Something was wrong.

* * *

A loud 'BOOM' could be heard through the entire camp ground that held the FTF colony, tears were pouring down the young girl's face as she bolted away from the sound. She was covered in a mixture of sweat and dirty water, her hair black from the moisture, frizzing out slightly as some of it stuck to her pale, sunken in face.

She felt as if she was going to vomit.

She saw blood, she ran to one of the bodies that was on the ground, hoping that she remembered some of what her brother had taught her.

She flipped him over, looking at his face, he was one of Kahn's men, which meant that he would be fine.

He opened his eyes, immediately recognizing the young girl in front of him, her hands went to his face, helping him to look at her as she sat back slightly. Blood from his wounds covering her hands. He sat up as she rolled back on her heels, his eyes trained only on her. She looked at him, then around at the other bodies, some of which had sutle movements. He nodded in response.

Her yellow, lizard like eyes surveyed the ground, searching, but to no avail. She stared at the ground, a loud 'BOOM' sounding once again. She ran, and only then did she feel the pain that was laced in her right ankle, causing her to limp. It had felt that way for months, but as her eyes shifted from yellow and lizard like back to their normal brownish color did she really feel it.

She stared at the door, or what was left of the door, to their transporter-like room. She stood up and ignored the pain, running to the room, crying out as she heard what sounded like a crack.

She got to it and put in coordinates for a star ship, hacking into the firewall that they had up, so they couldn't track where she had come from. As she stood on the transporter pad she felt much weaker, the pain coming head on, and the she fell to the ground, all traces of the yellow eyes gone. All knowledge stored away as she beamed herself to the USS Enterprise.

Star Fleet's flag ship.

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"Cap'n!" Scotty yelled as he ran onto the bridge, "You're gonna want to see this!" he exclaimed.

"What is it, Scotty?" Kirk asked as he followed his Scottish friend to the Transporter Room. As soon as he walked in he saw the panels blinking rapidly, several ensigns, including Chekov, we're trying to figure out what was going on.

"We're being hacked, sir!" one of them yelled just as a small, lithe body appeared on one of the pads, the eyes of the young girl fluttering before she collapsed on the ground in a small pile.

"Alert sickbay! We need Bones and a team of nurses!" Kirk yelled. Moments later they arrived, running in and heading over to the motionless young female.

Bones was the first to speak something that Kirk understood, and yet, from the look on his face, it wasn't good. He flipped the young girl over, examining her face when he choked on the only word he could manage to get out.

"Faith."

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**I apologize for any unwanted OCs!**


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